Today was the first baby shower I had to go to since losing my little boy last year. It was for a cousin I don't know very well and I was strong and didn't cry but wanted to cry all day. It's been just over a year since we lost our boy at 21 weeks, our 4th lose. We have no living children and I think because of what I've been through I envy and would be greatful to be in the shoes of the mother to be. Yet she looked un-greatful and mean to her mother who only wanted to celebrate her first grandchild. I wanted to smack her for acting like that. She has no idea how lucky she is. It's so frustrating to know the miracle of a baby then taken away and see other take it for granted.