I'm done

Im giving up on TTC. My first pregnancy I had twins, I lost one and she came 5 weeks early. That was 6 years ago. Jan 2014 had a mc, had the d&c and waited till Doc said go at it again. I'm 34 years old, he recommended me not to have a baby after 32 because I'm high risk. My daughter is not my husbands bio child, he's been with us since she was 3. He was so excited when we finally got preg at the end of 2013, just to have the hopes of us having a baby ripped out of us both. He says it don't matter if we have a baby, but I know he wants one as much as I do. I'm tired of crying cause I can't have a baby as easy as some people I know. This is tearing me up and I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm supposed to be a mother of 3, but I have two angle babies and my sweet daughter. Yes I am depressed but I don't take anything for it incase I do get pregnant again, but I'm depressed because my baby girl is growing up so fast and everyone is having babies but me. Sorry for venting. I don't have many friends cause my life is my husband and daughter and I don't want him to know how much this bothers me. I talk to my mom and grandmother about it but they never been through this and really don't understand. So I'm just calling it quits. Good luck to the rest of you ladies.