Mixed emotions!

My twin sister just had her 2nd baby boy yest & I'm feeling so mixed up, I've had two MC since March, first at just under 13wk & the second at 5wk she was very negative towards me when I told her of my first Preg as she was trying to concieve her 2nd with no luck, things havent been great with us since really? Im happy for her with her new baby but I feel so gutted for my husband & I all over again, I feel so angry again too then guilty that I cried & haven't been to the hosp yet to visit, am I a bad person for not jumping for joy over my new nephew?? any advice greatly accepted ladies.