So my husband and I have been married for 8 years, and for the last 2 our marriage has been pretty love-less.... no intimacy on his end no matter how much I begged and pleaded with him to try, he just wouldn't, so I gave up... I don't even want it anymore. Since about the second year into our marriage, he's progressively gotten more violent, he's lashed out on me a few times, but somehow has me weak enough that I've never called the law on him, then about 3 years ago we lost our kids to the state because my oldest snuck out of the house on two different occasions, once in husbands care, (he wasn't paying attention) once in my care (I was in the shower) anyways, during the battle of getting them back, my husband moved out of state and left me to try and get my children back, alone... after a huge battle, I finally moved back in with him (he was living with my sister and her hubby, they offered to help us out) and shortly afterwards my sister and my husband got me removed from the home due to a depression that was literally sucking the life out of me, he asked for a divorce a few weeks later, and convinced CPS to give him full custody of my children, using my instability as proof of an unfit mother... fast forward 3 years later, we decided to work things out, but they just got worse... we just now moved out of my sister's house, he refuses to work, using his diabetes as a reason to not work, and now that we're "behind closed doors" and on our own, he's getting violent again, yelling and screaming at me all the time over tiny things, trying to convince me that I made him this way, I honestly feel there's nothing left in my marriage, yet I can't just walk away and leave my kids, he won't let me take them... and throws it in my face that he's got custody and will put me in jail if I try to leave with them... he's controlled every aspect of my life for the last 8 years, and frankly I'm sick of him and how he treats me and my kids (granted he's not physical with my kids, he makes them feel stupid and like they're a burden constantly), and its ruining them.... I hate this life, yet he makes me stay... I've tried everything to get out, but it always backfires... with no documents as proof of his ways, its his word against mine in court... and everything he will use against me has proof to back him up... there's no love between us, no intimacy, we both cheated at one point... and I really need out, with my kids, but don't know where to start preparing myself financially or physically or emotionally... sorry this was so long I just needed to vent.. thanks for listening...