"You'll have another one" ?

Question

Every time someone tells me this, i want to punch them in the face. I want to scream and tell them my baby is not replaceable. I cant just go have another one and forget about my first one. How do i deal with this gracefully, without hitting someone or acting like a crazy person? Sorry for the rant...

Answer

I posted an article about what not to say after a loss on my fb and was very vocal in my posting about the fact that he was my son, he was who he was and he will never be replaced. I got reay angry and bitter at points with the stupid shit people said but sadly I think they don't realize that a simple "it's ok to grieve and I'm here for you" is all we really need.

Answer

Hmmmm!! My sister in law and mil are like that!!! Both keep saying one is enough don't have another one! Sil has 2 and always tells me how hard 2 are! Mil biggest preacher but had 5 kids!!! I tell them both to shut up lol

Answer

The woman who did my first ultrasound at 6 weeks 2 days was very rude, I asked her to print out the picture so my mother could see it and she said, "It's not even a baby"... I wasn't even aware I was miscarrying yet. My obgyn's receptionist ended up calling me to tell me I need to come in and see the doctor on Monday (this was a Thurs afternoon). Sunday came along and when I was out apple picking with my family and SO the blood started up. I started bleeding heavily that night and was rushed to the hospital for a D&C. Some of my family members did not know how to handle it at all. Some told me at least now I can go back to school, some said I can always have another one, some said I can enjoy my life now...
It really hurt. It still hurts, but it does get a little better in time. Just remember you're strong and you will pull through the sadness you're feeling.

Answer

http://www.myhousefullofboys.com/5-things-i-didnt-know-about-miscarriages-until-i-had-one/

Answer

I lost my baby boy at 23 weeks. And it felt as if a piece of me will always be lost. And now I don't know,if I can care a child full  term without going on bed rest for 9 months I would give my life to have a baby..to feel that overwhelming sense of love. A baby is a very blessed thing. Give it time when your are ready try again but only when your are ready.

Answer

I'm so sorry for your loss Christine and you are right. Babies arent replaceable. People try to be helpful but sometimes they are just so dumb and insensitive. I had a big fight with my sister in law after a similar "at least it wasn't a real baby" comment. All I can manage to say is no this was my baby and walk away. Xx

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Omg. So many times I have bit my tongue because of people like this. Ignorant assholes. I'm so sorry for your loss, and your baby is certainly not replaceable!

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Omg I hated that too!! Honestly I think people say it because they don't know what to say and they think that will somehow comfort you. I think it is hard for people especially who have never gone through it. When I had a blighted ovum, one of my family members said "Well at least it wasn't a baby." I am still so upset over that but I know it was coming from a good place and that he said it in hopes of helping me feel better. Grieve however you need to and ignore the people who just don't get it!!

Answer

They say this when refferring to your miscarriage?

Answer

That is one thing that got on my nerves. I would just look away and roll my eyes to keep me from saying something out of anger. I never knew what to say to someone who had a miscarriage but now that I have went through one, I definitely know what NOT to say and that is one of them.

"You'll have another one" ?

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