Am I a bad person?

I left my boyfriend of 9 years to be with another man. We were together for a few months before I started having sex with my ex again. I love my boyfriend but I love my ex too. I'm trying to get pregnant also. I don't use protection with either of them and part of me wants the baby to be my bfs and another part of me wants it to belong to my ex. Whomever the baby comes out belonging to is who I'll stay with. It'll be a sign! 

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