I give-up!!!

I can't stand to say it, but my daughter is lazy!!!  I have been telling her how to load the dishwasher the correct way for 2 yrs now still to this day she does it wrong i told her do not put pans in the dishwasher and I told her to not leave food in the garbage disposal she still does!!!
She got a bunch of stuff for Christmas and I turned red when I seen her new Gibson acoustic guitar face down on her bedroom floor, my husband and I got her everything on her list and then some and she isn't showing responsibility of anything!  The new shoes she just got she scuffed the toes up!!!  We are already had to take her electric scooter back to the store and exchange it because she left it in the rain.  I am at my wits end and ready to take it all back and give her stuff to kids that will appreciate it!!!  Help how can I get my kid to respect the stuff she has?!?