I'm not talking about how upset I still am that I didn't get my Hogwarts letter...that's a whole different kind of magic. I'm talking about today, I am 12 weeks. The magical 12 weeks when you're supposed to be completely out of the woods and tell everyone and only THEN at 12 weeks can you celebrate. Well I'm writing this to tell you all that this morning when I woke up- not one thing was different. I am still in love with a BFP on a little digital screen and a heartbeat I only heard with a stick stuck up my business. I'm still teary eyed when my husband says the words "the baby" in any context and it's been that way since the moment I found out. Speaking of that moment- 4 hours after it I lost the most important person in my life. I lost the one person who wanted our TTC journey to end faster than we did, the one person who's love and support I would most need for these 9 months. My nanny died in an OR, alone, without family and without warning and she would have LOVED to hear the news that the little stick I seasoned that morning told us God had finally answered our prayers. But that's why I'm writing this. I want to encourage anyone who ever gets that BFP to celebrate it. Tell whoever, whenever you want. Every single life is precious and the life inside you, planned or not is life and is to be shared and loved. If something does happen then you have the love and support of all that you told. And at 12 weeks, without my nanny, I know I'm not out of any woods- this could still be taken from us, there could be extreme hardship to come, I'm already worried about WHO this tiny human is and will be. But I was given a gift, a little digital screen with the word pregnant on it- and I'm gonna refuse to waste that gift, no matter how many weeks along I am.