Heart Felt Truth

I'm 10 dpo today I've been ttc For 3yrs and today was another negitive DH has a low sperm count im so sick of it IDC any more DH is 26 as of this yr and I will be 24 I have a daughter (5)from a previous marriage and her father abandon her DH picks up all responsibility calling him a step father would be completely inappropriate  he's my dream come true .. It's hurts sooo freakn much I wana give him the one thing no1 else can give him and that's a son/daughter. DH refuses to take meds or anything he wants  a baby but naturally and I feel as complete utter failure.he keeps bring up bills and money but if u keep bringing that up that means NEVER. I cnt afford  <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a> or <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">ivf</a> and he wouldn't allow it he said lets a adopt and my heart sunk! It's not like he doesn't have sperm I was able to get him to a sperm analysis and his cnt was 8million My heart dank but My Brain said we can do this .. I'm writing this becUse I have given up hope and I have no1 but my ttc family to talk to as I write I drop a tears from my face accepting it will Never happen