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Contact Bethany Christian adoption agency. Ask load of questions. They have seen it all I'm sure and can give u feed back on different aspects of this. I am a birth mother with an open adoption. If your sister is serious about adoption she needs to consider a few different parents.
Sister pregnant asking us to adopt????
My 18 year old sister is pregnant. This sounds silly, but she's the baby of the family, and is in every way possible. She can't even make herself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She dropped out of school and has unresolved anxiety issues. My husband and I are 27, he has a career and I am finishing my degree in social work. We are newlyweds, with no children, and living together AFTER marriage, it is our first time out of our family homes. We make it work although it's tight, we have everything we want and need. We are not TRYING for a child, but we follow my ovulation and just go on that, therefore if it were to happen it's really not a surprise.
Anyway, my sister decided to ask us to adopt her child. I personally am against abortion, I have gone through it at 15 and I would never wish it on anyone, I just don't know what the best answer is for this. It's a huge step, and as I said my husband and I have no children. We would never want to see it go into the system and wouldn't let that happen, but we see a sticky situation if we were to adopt it and really don't know how to decide or where to turn. Any helpful advice, tips, people who have been there etc? Thank you so much!
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That is a big mess... Wow. I can see that getting crazy down the road. What if when she's no longer a baby she decides she wants the baby back after you guys have raised it as your own and gone through all the messy work. Personally, I don't think I would unless it was open with the child that your sister was her mother and that she lived with aunt and uncle who love her and take care of her. Or I would say yes and have to cut my sister out of my life completely. That's so hard. I would want to say yes because I wouldn't want any baby to suffer or have to go through the system, but I know exactly what your reservations are. I guess just talk to her and see what she's thinking in terms of how it would all work, what would happen in 5, 10 years, and go from there. Whatever you do, if you do adopt, make sure you do it legally. Get a good lawyer who can help you so there can never be a question about who the child belongs to.Best of luck to you.
I have never been in your shoes, however I am a parent myself. I wouldn't do it. She is a "baby", however, she is 18. Meaning in a few years she will most likely be putting her life together. If you adopt her child and she gets her act together and grows up, she may want her child back. Say you raise this baby from fresh out of the womb and at 5 years old she decides she's ready to take on the responsibility. How would you feel? Most importantly, how would this child feel? She's going to be in closer contact with this baby than if she does an open adoption. It may get her thinking, which could lead to a terrible fight if you don't want to give up, what would be, your first child. Being a parent myself I couldn't imagine giving my child to someone else even if I had adopted.
Adoption is difficult, but would be a tad easier with a willing biological mother. It is a enormous step, especially if you weren't particularly interested in children at the moment anyway. Personally, I wouldn't do it. 18 years old, and she can't even make herself a sandwich? Shameful. If anxiety is her only excuse, surely it's because she never comes out of a cardboard box. Clearly she does, because she's gotten herself in this position. I'll get hate for saying that, but that's just sad. On the other hand, adopting it would *hopfully* give her the kick she needs to succeed in life enough to adopt her own child back. I would watch out for her just letting you raise the child for her while she hangs around it.
La
Yes. really, you're a long term baby sitter. save yourself the heartache
Ka
The problem is, what if they were to do it legally? What if they weren't? As a parent, you would become invested and attached to the child, how could they give it up when the mother comes around? That would be the issue, because at that point, it would be their child.
If it was my little sister I would absolutely adopt her baby in a heartbeat but that's just me. :) I have a soft spot for babies and I couldn't let any baby related to me go into the system. I think it would kill me if I couldn't see my little niece or nephew ever again. That's a tough decision though! Good luck!!
I wish I could say I've been there and offer some wonderful advice but I can't.I have always been making ends meat and wish the best for my kids, and though it's hard sometimes, they never know it and I make it through... With the wisdom I have now , if I could have my girls later in life when I was more settled I would have, but life doesn't work that way. I understand the fear of the child being shoved into the system, it's so sad for many children. I am assuming you and your husband are the only ones willing or able to make this choice? I wish I could give you a big hug dear, your road may not be smooth and clear always, but we all hit rough roads, it's to test how strong we are and how much we can take.
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