Don't know who else to turn to or ask for advice because no one close to me knows that we broke up. Recently I broke up with my bf because our relationship was going wrong at every turn. There are a lot of details but major points are as follows:

1. Whenever we would fight/argue/disagree/one of us gets upset over something the other did, he would get upset and suggest breaking up with me when I, on the other hand, would try to fix the issue that was causing us to fight. I never got wildly emotional when upset. I would be.logical and rational and statemmy case in as calm a manner as possible but he would get really riled up, angry to the verge of tears. It's happened too many times in the last 4 months. He has probably used the break up card 2-3 times every month.

2. When he did something that would upset me, like go through my cellphone, social media, etc, he would get upset because I am upset and act as if I had no right to be upset about the invasion of privacy. Whilst I have nothing to hide, I am still an individual and I want things to call my own like my friends, my clothes, my fashion choices, even my conversations etc. He didn't see it that way. He would then confront me about things that weren't "right" to him and then force issues like me supposedly sleeping w a male friend who was just a really good friend. He once repeatedly tried to make me/trick me/guilt me into admitting sometjing that never happened.

3. I don't claim to be a saint but he knows a lot about me and sometimes whenever a fight would erupt, he would take everything he didnt like about me and use it against me as artillery or a way to justify his reasons for being upset and to be right

4. When we would fight he would say mean and cruel things that would hit things I am insecure about like "No one will ever love you" or "No one is ever going to want to settle down with you." He would also verbally abuse me with cuss words, although that's only happened 3-4 times.

It's such a complex issue because he suffers from depression, anxiety and mild paranoia. He doesn't see or handle things the way normal people do. I know I should be more patient and understanding and I am as I am but if at every turn you're afraid that WW3 will erupt what do you do? And when WW3 does erupt you're the one whp ends up beaten and bloodied to a pulp because you just take it over and over again and the next day you wake up and just try again and slap on a smile. I did nothing to ever make him feel insecure in the relationship, nothing ever to make him feel like his heart was not safe with me. Now that we've broken up, he still wants to be friends but now that I'm seeing things clearly I'm not so sure anymore. I too suffered from mental illness and I have recovered and managed my depression better. It's why I made the decision to break up w him - because i have decided that i do not need nor want anymore negativity in my life. On one hand, I want to be there for him because everyone needs a friend, someone to help and support them. On the other hand, i no longer feel any emotional investment, romantic or otherwise. Do i try and stay or do i just end trying to be friends? Id rather leave than be someone's half assed friend who doesnt really want to be there. Help.