So I'm 30, with a decent paying job/career that I've worked my ass off for (unfortunately my benefits and where I live is extremely expensive). I'm also married. When we started dating my husband was "adult" ie he worked, cleaned his place weekly, had food in the fridge, cooked pasta etc., just generally seemed to have his shit together more than most men in my generation. However over the last year everything has been downhill... he lost his job, his medical condition flared up and that led to no sex and ultimately sleeping all day every day.

I've tried to be understanding and not nag, but a) he barely cooks/cleans/makes doctor appointments b) he spends a TON of my money, on average 1.5-2x my previous personal budget c) no sex and it's just too much!! I've been a huge bitch occasionally for the last few months and have 100% stopped socializing, I'm depressed, I cry a lot. He gets really pissy when I mope non stop or snap at him but he's eating into my retirement funds and I work full time and do the bulk of the chores (groceries, schedule appointments, pay all bills, cook > 50% of the meals, household cleaning etc.)

I don't know what to do because at this point I know we cannot have children because he is useless/not reliable (which is ok, not ideal, but I'm probably too anxious/depressed and could never deal with a profoundly disabled child) but at this point I don't even know how I can afford a gym membership, ever going snowboarding or on vacation again, getting a pedicure, having dinner with friends.

We have to move soon, should I just leave him and sue him for divorce? LOL sounds harsh but I'm pretty seriously depressed and the brain does crazy things.  Another fun thing is my insurance dropped my psychiatrist so I guess step one is finding a new one whichc is also SO HARD here.

FWIW he used to be sweet and did chores, cleaned, etc. I think he's depressed too and he's apologized for making me nuts and for being "useless" but... is it ever going to get better??