Who is your support?

Question

Going through my 4th MC, I have found that I'm very alone.
My husband is wonderful, but he's got a new job ( his dream job finally) when we found out about this one, so it's been hard on him to juggle me and the job.
My family avoids me and my sister texts me to ask me about my sick cat ( I have a 20 year old cat who's hanging on by a thread)
Some of my coworkers figured I was off bc I was pregnant and when they texted to ask how the pregnancy was doing, I told them I'd lost another. Haven't heard since.
My friends text me to ask me what's up and I tell them I'm having a hard time with this. They apologize, and then they're gonzo.
There is literally no one in my life to support me emotionally right now. I read many posts that read that they couldn't do it with their family, friends, etc.
Anyone else in the same boat as me? Misery loves company. 😥

Answer

I am going through what I believe is a miscarriage now and feel alone I don't want to talk to my husband about it, I feel like a disappointment....this is my first MC I've got 3 kids never had a problem but I am 42 now so I'm contributing it to my old eggs and now I wonder if I should try again if only to be let down once more. When I called my doctors office on Thursday for spotting they sent me for blood work, my hcg was 1775 and they were not concerned whatsoever, I feel as if they've failed me, I know it can't be stopped but geesh they wouldn't see me....well now it's Sunday and have heavier bleeding not major but more than spotting and with some small clots, my boobs shrunk and are no longer pregnant sore, had cramping all day yesterday and I assume this is it and who do I talk to??? Feel my doctors let me down and don't even know how to say to my husband "Well guess no baby for us now" This is terrible experience all around so I feel for you absolutely and am sorry for your suffering as I am silently suffering.....

Answer

Sometimes people just dont know how to respond... I can tell my family wants to be there for me, but they are not saying the things i want to hear.  Mostly they say "it is what it is"... Not that harsh of course.  
My SO doesnt even want to acknowledge it... He says he doesnt want to hurt or see me hurt by bringing any part of being pregnant or our loss up but honestly i think i need to right now... I think talking about it IS what helps me.  Not him though....   
My co worker has been the biggest "listener" she has just let me vent, cry and be sad... Thats helps.  But it would be nice to have talks about it with my SO who shared this experience WITH me.

Im here to listen and talk about our experiences whenever u need! <3

Answer

I sympathize with you. I just had my 3rd miscarriage at 11weeks. I run a family business with my mom so I had no chice to tell her once I ended up in the hospital due to heavy bleeding at 5weeks and was put on bed rest . She was more concerned about me not being there to help her than me losing my baby. My husband completely avoided me by working late every day so he wouldn't have to hear me cry about losing another baby. He eventually realized what he was doing once I started to distant myself from him. He too just started a new business and his partners wanted him there night and day. I waited until I was about 9 weeks when I told my closets friends. When I got confirmation the baby stopped growing at 7.2 weeks with no heart beat I was crushed. My husband has been great with the support but I've had to limit my emotions and crying around him so I don't scare him away. My mom txts me here and there to check on me but its so short and to the point it's hard to feel her sympathy. Oh and then she ask me if my older daughter can come to work Friday since I can't make it:/ My grandmother told me she was sorry I lost the baby but the miscarriage happened for a reason and not to get pregnant anymore. "It's in gods hands" 
(the woman in my family are a bit cold hearted) and I have about 3 out of 10 close friends that txt me to check up on me. 
It's hard cause when ur in pain... Ur not sure if having to many people call/txt u all the time make it worse or not have any support make u feel so alone. Sending you lots of hugs and prayers during your healing process. Your not alone!!!

Answer

for a lot of reasons, i never told my family. i hadn't told them i was pregnant yet and didn't tell them when i miscarried either.

my husband has been the biggest support for me. also having some friends who know, but sometimes their "help" is actually not helpful. doh. one or two of my friends have been really great though. it's hard to know which people are going to end up being those really supportive ones though.

i have found a great ttc message board online and that's really where i get the support i haven't been able to get in real life. maybe look around to see if you can find somewhere that feels right to you...?

sending positive thoughts your way. it's so hard, but we'll make it through.

Who is your support?

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