What's a virgin and what's not?

Physically I know a virgin is someone who is pure and never convicted to any sexual activity. But me and my friends consider ourselves virgins because we never have sex with any guy before but hold up that's not the end of the story. Even though we never physically have sexual intercourse before, we did do other stuff and pretty much everything sexually active but other than have a penis go inside. There are a lot of time that I question myself if I'm a virgin I would like to think so because I really want to do it with someone I love but I just never find the right guy and it all end up to just kind of "hook up" not actually "slept with" I asked my one friend who got raped a couple of years ago she told me that being a virgin is not just a physical thing it's the mental thing too, it's what you believe and think of yourself because after she got raped she wasn't ready to admit that she loses her virginity so she told herself that she was pure and still the same old her. I want to know what do you guys think?