Mommy dearest...

My mother and I do not click. I am 21, and you would think at this point in our lives together we would have figured it out.... but we for sure haven't. I am a first girl not disrespectful to adults but I will stand up for myself if I have to. My friends would agree with me that I am a pretty friendly and inviting girl. Not caddy. My mom on the other hand still sees me as the little 11 year old that needs her mommy. She always says "oh you'll understand one day when you grow up." If she's trying to explain real life stuff ya know all the shit you have to know when you're a "grown up." She still asks me "did you use your manner? Please and thank you?" She is a very giving person always putting herself before others always thinking of other people which I admire about her I wish I xould be more like that. However, let's say her and I go shopping and I really like something but don't want to spend the money she'll buy it for me and make it such a big deal saying "honey I want to buy this for you you're my daughter and I love you so much." Which for me is weird because it's seems too much for just a piece of clothing... and then when she is in one of her moods if she feels I have been rude she'll throw everything she has done for me in my face. " I bought you all those clothes I work 50 hours a week so I can afford things for you you don't appreciate me." She always claims I call her a horrible mother (when I have never once said that) I live on my own with my boyfriend who she doesn't like but that's another story.... she has never liked any of my friends even though they were all good people not on drugs or any of that shit all went to college bla bla bla. I'm an only child also and adopted. Basically to get to the point of all this since I'm rambling on, one day she's nice and normal and the next minute my phone is being blown up because she's pissed that I haven't done something exactly the way she wants it. She always talks about my weight even though I'm 5'7" and weigh like 160 I don't feel fat but she'll say "oh are you sure you want to wear that? Your stomach is sticking out?" She's just so critical and I have been trying to distance myself from her just a little so maybe she'll cut the umbilical cord but she acts so cold towards me. Like I've ditched her since I moved out. I don't know what to do anymore, am I in the wrong? I know I need to respect my mom but how much shit do I need to take from her. I have stood my ground and have said some rude shit but someone can only take so much till they blow. Let me know what you would do. Thanks :)