friday evening i noticed brown spotting. Being worried i contacted an online midwife. She told me to go to the A&E. When i was seen at a&e the doctor was far from considerate or sympathetic. I felt he laughed at me for being scared about the bleeding and told me to go home as i was in no pain. Come Sunday night my husband  took me back to a&e and this time

They checked my blood pressure rwice, my temperature and a urine test to rule out any urine infections. The doctor(different doctor from Friday) did a pelvic exam and booked me an appointment with EPAU. On Monday at work around 11:30 i started getting mild cramps by 1:30pm i felt like my bleeding was getting heavier... I was experiencing normal period pain cramps so i called my GP up and was put through to Waldoc who then told me to come in as soon as possible. I went to the doctors and he said what i was describing sounded like a miscarriage. I was still optimistic that maybe just maybe he was wrong.  After the trip to the doctors i went home. Around 7:30pm i felt the urge to push. I pushed a little bit and felt something pop out in side me half was still inside. so i pushed again. I went to the toilet and lo and behold on my towel was a clot. It was the size of the base of my palm. It was mixed of white discharge, dark reddy brown discharge and a grey kidney shaped thing.(one inch long) At that moment i knew i had passed my little angel.( i know that maybe at this point in the pregnancy it was too early to call a baby but it was real and mine😭) i broke down and cried hysterically in the bathroom. Today is Wednesday i have just come back from EPAU. They did an ultrasound but because i didnt have a full bladder they needed to do a vaginal scan. I knew looking at the screen nothing was there.they said my uterus looks smooth and it was empty... I would like to try again... But im so scared that if its taken me 5 years to conceive am i going to have to wait a further 5 years to conceive again... I feel so drained and depressed since Monday. My husband has been able to bounce back so quick. I feel he will end up getting upset because im still stuck there...