I have been really upset lately... I've just now came to realize, I'm a lesbian.. This girl I fell I love with said she fell for me too.. She has a girlfriend, and is trying to decide who she wants. First off, I'm upset if I'm a lesbian, everyone will judge me so much. People are mean. Second, I don't know what I would do without this girl. I love her. I want to be with her bad. Without her, I feel nothing. She's the only girl I have ever loved.. And if she picks the other girl, I don't know what I will do.. I just don't want to be here. I've been unhappy for too long.. I've had a horrible past too. Gotten abused by my stepdad. My mom takes up for him.. It's been a wreck and really I'm just tired of everything..