My husband is a substance abuser. Anytime he's in a party social setting or has a day off he goes buck wild gets black out drunk I'm tired of it. I've told him I don't like it multiple times. He continues. What do I do?

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If he refuses to get better, there's nothing you can do except remove yourself from the situation as impossible and difficult that feels.

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Seek help. My exhusband was an alcoholic. He wouldn't get help and wouldn't work with me to stop, so I left. I didn't realize how much it effected me until I was out of that marriage. It killed who I was and he still hasn't changed. Love your husband, try to help him, but if he doesn't want help, protect and save yourself.

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Al-Anon is a wonderful resource for folks in our situation (for me it's my Dad) please consider checking it out! It helps folks in exactly your position. They won't try to persuade you in one direction or another but will listen to you and give you plenty of facts and resources to help you make your desicion and live your life either with or without the addict. Would also recommend talking to him and trying to get him into a program, but that's easier said then done I know (from aggravating experience). I was worried it would be a pressured experience but it was so uplifting- just google local meetings! I promise it should be a big help if you want to try a meeting ☺️ Totally free too. Love and hugs!

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There is nothing wrong with getting drunk when he has no other important obligation. (And if he does you didn't specify)
He doesn't sound like an alcoholic to me... Or "substance abuser" as you refer to...
He sounds like someone who likes to drink and get drunk whenever he can.
If you hound him about it, it won't make anything better.

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Unfortunately if HE  doesn't want things to get better and make a change he won't. Leave.

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He's a social alcoholic. And for someone like that (who only gets the urge when I'm a group setting where alcohol is being consumed), it generally means they can't touch alcohol at all, otherwise they quickly spiral into blackout. And he's probably not going to stop until he actually wants to...as in getting help or avoiding alcohol altogether. The only thing you can do from your end is to try limiting how often those types of situations happen, simply because it's something guaranteed to happen if he ends up in that type of setting. Have you explained how he looks from your point of view when it happens? Do you have to "carry" him out of places because he's so drunk he needs physical help? Does he ever end up in his own vomit? Is it embarrassing? For him, you, Or both? Are other people laughing at the entertaining drunk, can barely function, guy because they think it's funny to see someone stumble & mumble? Do you have to clean up the physical mess? Emotional mess? Are they friends who get him drunk for their entertainment, but when it comes to being so drunk he can barely function & they're done being amused, they say "cya later!" instead of helping him get home safe? I've been through all that, and more, and it wasn't until he had some realizations, and I gave him a reality check on what I had to deal with while he was drunk (bc he either wouldn't remember or didn't realize it was that extreme), that he finally decided to cut back on those outings. But we also worked at a bar at the time & so sometimes I had to tell the bartender to start watering his drinks down if he started going too far. And once we stopped working there, his "friends" stopped caring about spending time with him, and we only had the problem once or twice a year. And between getting older, and only happening a once in a great while, the aftermath hits him a lot harder. Plus random health issues. He admits now he needs to just not drink.

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Send him to rehab.

My husband is a substance abuser. Anytime he's in a party social setting or has a day off he goes buck wild gets black out drunk I'm tired of it. I've told him I don't like it multiple times. He continues. What do I do?

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