Should I be with someone who is not as pure as I've kept myself?

Question

I am 19 and a virgin in every sense of the word. I've kept myself pure because I want to share that special moment with my husband on our wedding night. I found out recently that the guy I've been talking to for almost 10 months, who has the same beliefs as me, has "explored" a lot more than I thought. I'm very hurt and even disgusted at him right now. I just expected so much. I don't know what to do.

Accepted Answer

I think maybe you should save yourself for someone as pure as you are and let him find someone who won't judge him so harshly for his past.

Answer

I just want to say its very special that you have kept yourself and that you should be proud of that, since not many people do that anymore. I did not do that but I admire anyone who has. I regret that I didnt because the person that Im with my hisband of six years is the person I trully love and I just did not love the person before so O shouldnt have shared something that was special and private to me with him. But Anyway... If he is a good person, if hes respectful, if he treats you well and is willing to respect your decision and your values and wait for you, than you should give him a chance. Girl, good honest respectful men are hard to find, a man that is willing to wait for you till your ready is harder to find, and men that are virgins till marriage are like in danger of extinction. Yeah you can find someone who is a virgin like you, and wants to wait till marriage. But maybe they arent good in other ways, like they are dishonest and disrespectful in other ways, maybe he wont treat you good. So if this guy is a great genuine guy who treats you like a queen and is willing to wait and respect you, and is only and exclusiveley dating you, than give him a chance. Or leave him and find someone thats just like you if that makes you happier. Im only giving you my opinion. At the end of the day Im sure you will follow your heart. But no matter what uphold your beliefs and values. You should be with someone who respects that and finds that precious. Good luck!

Answer

I told myself the same thing, I was going to save myself for my husband. Didn't happen but I'm personally glad that I had my bad experience with my ex. He taught me what I didn't want in a relatioship because I had to deal with him guilt tripping me after he initiated sex. Now my fiancé is the second and last guy I will ever sleep with and I'm the second girl he has ever slept with. I absolutely hate the fact that he was with his ex because she is just an all around horrible person and he is as sweet as can be but our experiences have made us grow and realize what we want when it comes to our sex life. Just because the guy you have been talking to has explored doesn't mean he is tainted, he could be the perfect person for you. Hear him out, DON'T JUDGE HIM, and try to put yourself in a hormonal teenage boys shoes for a second.

Answer

To be honest, I in today's society I believe it is extremely hard to find people who holds those beleifs. Therefore, I think that as long as this person has been good to you, you should give him a chance. But if eventually being with someone who has been with someone else isn't something you feel ok with doing than you should move on.

Answer

Judgy wudgy wuzza bear...

Answer

Just because he doesn't share the same experiences or lack there of doesn't mean he's anymore or less of a bad person. If he has done more then you, that doesn't change the fact that you obviously liked him. If you let his past define how you feel about him now, what does that say about yourself? If he's done these things you don't agree with, it doesn't mean you have to do them and it doesn't bring you down any. The only reason you should be doubtful is if he's trying to pressure you into doing things you aren't comfortable with. But if you were to make a mistake and meet the love of your life and have them judge you for things you've done in the past, how would that make you feel?

Answer

I met my husband when I was 19 and he was 20. I saved myself for marriage. I didn't even kiss my other exs. My husband on the other hand was, um, "popular." I was his tenth girlfriend. At first it bothered me to think he had had sex with other women, but he is so faithful and into me only I appreciate the experience now. He repsected my boundaries while dating. I think faithfulness and respect and he deserves a chance. Also porn is never allowed in our relationship. Real love only.

Answer

What you expect? Lmao. If you don't like it then find someone else. Cause it's sure hard to find guys like that.

Answer

My husband was a virgin by choice until he was 20 and met me. I was not a virgin at all, I had slept with 4 guys by the time I met him when I was 18 (which he thought was A LOT). I'm so glad he didn't let that get in the way of our relationship because we are absolutely soul mates. We have been together 17 years and married for 11. ;) If however your bf has been a total man whore, then that's maybe another issue. Make him get tested for stds first and it's up to you whatever you can feel comfortable. Try to give him a chance of you can, and if he's worth it ;)

Answer

This will be long. My husband had sex with one person before me and did other things (but not sex) with two other people. I hadn't had one sexual experience with anyone before him. I was friends with him before we got together for about 5 years, so I knew who he was with and what they did (friends talk). It didn't bother me when we first got together. Or by the time we had sex. But after a while it got to me. I just felt jealous for some reason even though he had no interest in them and hadn't spoke to them in years. But I've finally gotten over it. It's not like we were together or even remotely interested in each other when he had sexual experiences with other people. And he has proven 10 times over that he loves me and has even told me on his own how much he regrets those other people and how much he wishes he could have had the same self control as I did. He said he thought he loved the person he had sex with, but once he and I started dating he knew he didn't actually love her. He's my best friend and is obsessed with me. Haha. I absolutely love him and wouldn't trade him for the world. I understand how you feel, but give it some time. It'll pass. :) Look at it this way, he's with YOU, not them. He wants you. That's how I feel. My husband picked me, asked me to marry him, had a child with me, and is TTC baby #2 with me. :) I know he's devoted. Keep with it.

Should I be with someone who is not as pure as I've kept myself?

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