I was born in Alaska by a father who was abusive and did drugs and a mother who was schizophrenic. My father was always beating me my older brother and my mom. At the age of three and four I took care of my younger brother and endured sexual and physical abuse at the hands of my biological father. My father also would beat my mother and pimp her out for money or drugs. My mother got pregnant with my little sister by one of her johns. At around the time of my sisters birth the state of Alaska took my siblings and I away and put us seperatly into foster care. My father went to jail and mother couldn't care for us because of her mental illness. My first foster home I stayed at for one night then I was moved to live with a lesbein couple and 3 other foster children. This couple never fed us or cared for us and neglected us.At this time Alaska paid people to take in foster kids so that's why they had us. They also would give us Nyquil to make us sleep so they didn't have to deal with us and when they fed us it was expired or stuff that was rotten and they were gonna get rid of anyways. I told my social worker what was going on and I was moved again to a new home. This family was so nice and had two girls my age for me to play with. I thought they were gonna be my new family and I loved them very much. They bought me my own toys and I thought I had a new mom and dad. I was wrong and I was taken to another family to live with, a couple and their two sons who were older than me. I liked this family very much at first but was afraid to get close thinking something would take me away again however I was 8 when they adopted me and my biological half sister. I thought things were gonna be great but my new mom was very controlling and abusive. She rarely physically abused me but she called me stupid and pointed out all the ways that I was not good enough. At age 10 we moved to Alabama. I had kept the secret of sexual abuse I had suffered durring my childhood for 9 years and I finally got up the currage to tell My mom when I was 13. I went into a deep depression and became suicidal. I started cutting and became anorexic and bulimic. I had to see all these people and tell them what my biological father did for the investigation and it caused me to have nightmares and relive what happened. I started modeling around the same time and when I was 15 I decided to stop cutting because I didn't want it to ruin my modeling. At age 16 I started dating a guy who was everything I needed and cared for Me more than I even knew how to accept. I was engaged at 18 and my adoptive mom was not happy about it. The verbal and mental abuse got worse so I left and moved in with my adoptive brother and his wife. They we're very supportive and one year later I got married. My husband is the best thing that ever happened to me. He helped me get over my depression and loves me in spite of all of this that I have been through. About six months ago I met My biological mom and grandparents. They were nice but they have their problems. We talk about once a month if that and things are good in my life now. My husband and I are trying for our first child now and I'm excited to see what's in store for us. I know it's strange to post this on here but I'm afraid to tell people I meet about these things in real life. I haven't told anyone anything about my life in about 6 years other than my husband. It feels nice to get it off My chest and let it go. Any one else who can relate or just wants to share their story I would love to hear it. Life is full of ups and downs and sometimes people are to wrapped up in their own life to listen.