Do we tell our parents?

Question

My SO & I are starting our first round of IVF next week (eeek!!).
No one knows we're trying for a baby except one or two very close friends. My SO's mother is living with us while we design & build her new house, and there seems to no boundaries from her end. 
After talking through all of the drugs I need to take, and the symptoms, it seems like it will be tricky to hide from  nosey MIL.
I'm wondering if we should tell her & my parents now so the stress of hiding it is not an issue. My fear is that she will tell everyone she knows, even if we stress to her not to. And will fuss and irritate me through the whole thing.
And I don't want to have to give them updates and explain if/when it doesn't work and see the pity in their eyes...
I just wish it would happen for us naturally!!! 💔

Answer

I find its a lot easier to just tell people.  But that's just me.  Others don't agree.

Answer

I find that family can be very supportive but also the most opinionated. After having our second miscarriage my MIL asked why we were still trying. It killed me. We quit talking to any family about our issues. I have a couple close friends but other than I just don't talk about it.

Answer

I told mine but made it clear that on average it takes three times and that there was no certainty.  I think that helped with them not discussing it with anyone else -- even that MC was likely so don't get excited.  I also shared that other couples get to keep it to themselves for three months and we're sharing this secret with them -- and they're lucky we are and they got to keep it secret.   It also helped to remind them that other family has kept major secrets and not told us for years -- why does that family now deserve to hear our news?  It's not reciprocal.  Be direct as possible.

Answer

My parents are very involved in our lives, so we decided to tell them as they probably would have found out anyway. It would have been too hard to hide injections on family trips, going to multiple dr appts per week, side effects from medications, etc.  I also didn't want to tell them because of having to have them go through the disappointment with us if it didn't work, but I knew they would want to help support us if that were the case. It turned out that their support was huge. But you need to decide what is best for your situation. We didn't tell my in-laws at all until it worked.

Answer

I only told my mom and a couple of close friends, nobody on my husbands side knows, as you said I didn't want them to hassle me and ask me all the time, my second round of iui, I actually had a talk with my mom about her questions, because she would call me a couple of times a day or more and ask me how I'm doing, I told her mom please I'm trying not to think about everything and stress over anything, so please stop mentioning it to me at all. I cannot say the same to my mil so decided to keep it a secret. They would worry and stress, and we don't want that energy coming from their side.

Answer

I did my first round of IVF in February. My boss and a few fellow coworkers knew, along with our parents and sister in law. I am super close with my sister in law so it helped to have her to talk to through everything. We ended up getting pregnant, so everyone knew because they knew when our beta was. Sadly, it ended in a chemical pregnancy. The hardest part was telling everyone we lost the baby a week after we told them it worked. This time around I only told my boss (time off), and my sister in law. I'd rather keep it a secret this time and once we get to 2nd trimester then surprise everyone.

Answer

I'm in the same situation, and we haven't decided yet !

Do we tell our parents?

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