I don't know what to do πŸ˜”

I messed up and I messed up big time. I went out with some girl friends on Friday night. First time out in a very long time as I don't like to go out with out my husband. I'll try to make this short and to the point but I got so drunk and over did myself that I don't remember the entire night, well barely any of it. The next day someone went to my husband and told him that I kissed another guy at the bar. He was very disappointing in how I let myself drink so much to not know what I was doing nor remember any of it. The guy I apparently kissed is a friend of mine that I had not seen in over a year. I texted him letting him know what happened and he said that I was really flirty and I kissed him in the cheek but never the lips. He said he was drunk but that he knows I didn't kiss him on the lips. Now I don't know what to think. If I was really that drunk and kissed him and maybe he doesn't remember it either or if whoever told my husband this exaggerated the story. If I did kiss this guy, it wasn't intentional as I love my husband and I am very happy. Now my husbands not sure if he wants to be with me. I feel like such an awful person. I told him I will give up drinking all together to make sure it never happens again and I would dedicate my whole life to making it up to him but he says he just doesn't know. What do I do? I feel so depressed and I feel like my hearts been ripped from my chest. I can't lose my husband. I could understand if I did it on purpose and I know it's no excuse but it wouldn't of happened if I didn't get black out drunk. Please no negative/rude comments. I know I'm to blame. I just need help to save my marriage. Thank you.Β