What can we do?

Question

In the Glow community, to erase the stereotype of the extremist Pro Lifers, from the Pro Life community as a whole? And by we, I mean those of us who are Pro Life, but don't go to the extremes of some of our community to hurt, belittle, terrorize, etc those who are Pro Choice. This question is for Pro Life and Pro Choice alike, but please be polite and thoughtful about your response.

Answer

So it's basically a general consensus that being called a murderer is way out of line. 
I think that Mia's idea of correcting someone who says something particularly offensive to PC was really nice. (Gave me the happy feelings😂)

But I'm not going to delusion myself into thinking that all things PC don't like will go unsaid. Is there anything in particular that pro life don't quite understand as to why they get sasses for a particular phrase?
I'll go over a few that personally rub me the very wrong way as I've been the target before because of my abortion/rape. So hopefully I can give some input as to way these are harmful. 
Murder/murderer: there's no argument here. These are pretty tiggering statements and luckily glow bans these. They're incredibly harsh to even women who had to abort a wanted fetus/baby for medical reasons (fetal viability was lost etc.)

Killer/kill/killing: many pro choice or women who have had abortions will see a very blatant connection between murderer and killer. To me a killer is on the same level as the man who raped me. So to be called a killer is putting me at that level with the monster who put me in that position in the first place, and once again anyone who had to have an abortion due to medical necessity on a wanted baby/fetus is now being attacked.

Selfish: ack. I won't say DONT say this, because it is an opinion, but use it knowing that practically everything done can be considered selfish, but try to have an open mind as to why that particular person may be considering or had done the procedure. Were I to be considering an abortion at the moment I know that being called selfish or being told abortion is selfish would not help your case. It'd probably make me more confused and scared, and scared women will sometimes do drastic things. Because once scared or confused the woman isn't thinking straight anymore.

Answer

The term 'baby killer' and 'murder' is awfu in reference to abortion. I respect that you believe that's what it is but I feel it's almost always going to be taken to heart by others and start a fight. It would be nice to if we could just talk and not throw insults but I truly don't know how that could happen..lol, wishful thinking. I sometimes wish we had a do over button. I think that as long as understanding and respect is practiced, all will be ok. It's ok to  ask someone what they mean instead of assuming (I'm guilty of this) and boy would apologies be nice too😊💕

Answer

The only way is to avoid insulting each other's intelligence and morality. I think abortion is the wrong choice in most circumstances, but I certainly don't want to cause anyone to feel guilt or shame. When I debate the topic, it's an attempt to make women think BEFORE they consider abortion. I don't want to insult or shame any woman. The fact is, abortion is legal, and probably always will be. The only REAL thing pro-lifers can do is try to make women fully understand the gravity of the decision to end a pregnancy in a respectful manner, but without sugarcoating.

Answer

None of the shaming stuff. It automatically raises hackles when someone says "you chose to spread your legs" etc. It's definitely not constructive. 
I definitely have more respect for people who can say something without including "kill", "spread your legs", and "selfish".

I DO like hearing about people's pregnancies. It helps me understand WHY they have such strong feelings for the fetus (baby I'm guess for you guys?) that's inside of them. I also most definitely respect someone who understands that abortion will never fully disappear. 
These are just the main things that stand out to me as the major argument centers. I'd definitely love feedback as to why these things happen and then maybe I'll be less opt to snarl at someone when they say something like that.

Answer

I also think sarcastic and snarky comments should be left out. If we are all adults, and all expect the opposite to respect us and our opinions, being snarky and sarcastic doesn't do well for or cause.

Answer

I think, other than the language issues that have already been pointed out, that religion has to be left out. I've been told, many times, that I'm going to hell just for believing that I can't make medical decisions for other people. That I'm a demon, that Satan works in me. It isn't right or fair.

My second point is that both sides have to stick to verifiable and reliable sources. Lifesite News is neither.

Answer

I'm pro life but I will never call someone "baby killer" or a "murderer". That's just awful and going way too far. Also saying things like "you should have kept your legs closed" is a discrace! I can't believe how horrible some people can be. I respect anyone's decision weither I agree with it or not. Honeslty it's really no one's business why someone would be an abortion anyway. I wish there was group where the judgmental people would just stay out of lol!!!! I'm sure that will never happen. 😏 I really don't know what we can do. People are gonna be rude no matter what.

Answer

Part 4: This is also where the term selfish comes into play. Ending the innocent life you "accidentally" created, just because it will be inconvenient to you is a selfish act. Just because the only way that baby can grow to term is in your belly, doesn't give you the right to take its life, just because being pregnant and raising a child will be inconvenient to you (also leads back to the "you should have kept your legs closed" comments). Now I realize it's not anyone's business but the person who is making the choice, but the Pro Life community is there to be the voice of the unheard baby who's life is being taken, since they can't for themselves. Which is why they are so public about their feelings (protests and picket lines and such), and why they use the guilt of ending the life to stop the mother from doing it; sometimes guilting someone is the only way to get what you want. I'm not saying this is right, I'm just saying why it happens. It's not that they don't care about the mother, or that they are against women's rights; it's that they care about the life of the unborn baby too, and since the baby can't speak for itself, if Pro Life doesn't do it, who will? The mother has a voice, why shouldn't the unborn baby have a voice too?...

Answer

Part 3: For the "kill/murder" comments, although it's disrespectful and I have not and will not use those terms ever, I do understand why they are said. First and foremost, I believe there is a difference between murdering someone and killing someone. These are my opinions: Fighting in a war and taking someone's life is killing them, if it is in retaliation, meaning if someone else started the war and you are defending your country that is retaliation. Taking someone's life in self defense is killing someone. Justifiable homicide is killing someone. Taking someone's life accidentally is killing someone. Taking someone's life in most any other sense of the phrase, is murder. With that being said, the Pro Life community feel that the life inside of a woman, regardless of viability or length of time pregnant, is its own person, has its own soul - we don't compare it to a parasite nor plant life, that is insulting to us. So when an abortion is done, it is ending a persons life, a person with a soul. There are some extremists that believe an abortion shouldn't happen no matter what (rape, incest, life of the mother), because they feel it is Gods will, and who are you to mess with Gods will? But most will agree that in cases of rape, incest and life of the mother, there isn't a problem. But for the cases where they're having an abortion because it's inconvenient to them - too young, don't want to give up their lifestyle, had a one night stand, broke up with or not doing so good with boyfriend, etc. - those cases are not acceptable reasons to end that (persons) life...

Answer

Part 5: For the pregnancy part, I think a big part of the connection to your baby inside of you has to do with whether or not you always wanted kids. If you never did and got pregnant and still kept it, I don't think you'd have as big a connection to it as someone who always wanted kids and got pregnant. For me, I always wanted kids, so when I got pregnant it was my dream come true. I didn't start feeling him move until 17 weeks, but I had a connection to him long before then. For me, just the knowing that this little being inside of me, was a life all its own, growing in me, depending on me to keep it safe and healthy, was enough for me to bond with it. Once I saw his face on a 3D ultrasound at 15w, I fell absolutely in love. Even though I couldn't feel him moving, you could see him moving around, sucking his thumb, rubbing his eyes, smiling, yawning, touching his toes. It was absolutely beautiful and amazing, to know all that was happening in me! And when I started feeling him move, it's like something you can't imagine. It's like he's saying "Hey mom, I'm here. Just wanted you to know." And now that he's more active everyday, I can actually play with him. It may seem hard to grasp, but when I push on him, he pushes back. It could just be reflex, but I like to think that he's pushing me because I pushed him. At my last ultrasound at 21w, he was even more playful than the 3D one, we have pictures of him sucking his toes! For me, it's a miracle, a blessing. And I think only believers feel that way. I think non believers feel that it's just science. No miracle or blessing, just science. But for those that are believers, it is to us. And that also has a lot to do with why we feel so connected to the unborn baby inside of us.

What can we do?

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