Boyfriend....potential husband? Long

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together about three years. When we met we hit it off and had everything in common, we're very alike and our birthdays are even two days apart. Even still, he forgot my birthday the last two years in a row. The first year, we had been together for two years and were living together and broke up shortly after due to wanting different things - he's a city person and needs to live there for work and I can work anywhere and prefer the country lifestyle. The second time was this year after we got back together.

When we broke up last spring we both saw other people, but were broken up for about six months before we started talking again and our chemistry was undeniable. We got back together long distance last October. We have been living in separate cities since then and will be until May of next year.

We make time to see each other, but I always plan our activities (hikes, outdoorsy stuff) and when I have asked him to take the lead he doesn't do it. I love him but I just want a MAN who will take me to some romantic spot for a campfire and skinny dipping/stargazing. My bf has never done that for me.

I've asked him to again and hoping he will....but any advice re long distance? I feel like half of me is ok with being independent and half feels like I'm wasting my time. I really love him but I worry we don't want the same things.

Answer

Well if you say he's a city boy he's not going to be taking you out to a camp fire. Maybe he's embarrassed that he doesn't know how to be country enough for you so he doesn't know what to do.

Answer

Sounds like you need my husband. ;) I'm kidding. Your first line says that when you first met, you have everything in common. Was that really the case? Or just BC it was new and exciting? My husband and I are different. We don't like to do the same things. That being said, he took me camping and I was a good sport, but that'll be the last time I go. The next time we went to the mountains, we stayed in a cabin. He fished and I read a book. We were happy hanging out together. Then we went to town and ate at a restaurant instead of crap camp food that he'd normally eat. For our 5 year anniv, we stayed in a little cabin thing on the edge of the canyon. There was a hot tub and a bed, but we could see stars for miles and zero city lights. (I skinny dipped in the hot tub and looked at the stars from our patio, but I would never go skinny dipping in a lake or star gaze with the bats) Both of us enjoyed our time. For our honeymoon, he took me to Disney world (my dream vacation and I had never been). I don't think he hated it, but he wasn't in heaven like I was. We just agree to meet in the middle or do separate things. We're both OK with it. I went to Graceland with my sister and mom and NYC at Christmas with my best friend. He goes camping and fishing and hunting with his brothers and dad. It works for us. If you feel like y'all are incompatible already, then go your separate ways now. Marriage won't help or change either one of you. And, if you already want to live in the country and he wants/needs to live in the city then I don't see how you can compromise there. The edge of the suburbs maybe? There's just a ton of fish in the sea. Loving him also means to let him be himself...whether or not it's with you.

Answer

Have u tried talking to him about ur feelings? If so & he still doesn't make an effort than maybe u are waisting ur time or u could see how it goes after u live together.
& if u haven't talked to him do that now even tell him u feel like ur waisting ur time. Good luck.

Answer

He's in sound production so he spends long hours in the studio recording plus he's a student plus he works. So I think it's just that for the last two years he hasn't had time for much else. We talked about it and I told him what i want and he's making more of an effort now. He graduates in three weeks! I'm not super physically attracted to him anymore either but once he starts working out again that will help. And once we get talking I always fall for him again

Boyfriend....potential husband? Long

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