I have all these people around me but no one is listening... I could never do anything for myself because I'M too busy taking care of everyone else... I am not usually taken seriously when I try to solve an issue.... apparently, I'M an issue... I can't even talk to my man with out him Not understanding ME... I don't have ANY friends to even vent to... I haven't had a friend in over 5 years now... I am starting to feel depressed on my out look on the world... why am I here for?... to feel this way?... if that's the case, I don't want it... I hate waking up in the morning feeling so disconnected... to not be able to feel as if I'M apart of something... I'M tired of feeling all these feelings... and I have to sit here and PRETEND I'M OK.. GOD knows how hurt I am inside... how sad I am to feel like no one understands me on why I am the way I am... if people took the time out to really understand my history, they would understand why it's hard for me to change habits so quickly... abuse is a serious thing.. I dealt with it for 4 years n Thank GOD I'M alive!!... it's been 2 years since and I'M struggling to still find myself again.. I used to be so happy n bubbly.. now I'M - I don't know; NOT THERE anymore... I lost so much because of this and for ONCE in my life, I want to be able to feel like myself again.. where I looked in the mirror and I'M Truely happy with MYSELF and LIFE again.