I don't know how to communicate with my toddler

I've never been around kids before having a child of my own. I'm having a hard time trying to get my son (3year old) to listen and respect me. I feel like he thinks it's funny when I get onto him and he doesn't take me serious. He's also going through a screaming phase, just for fun. 
I've tried time out, all different tones of asking him to stop doing certain things, taking toys away, spanking on butt. But nothing seems to phase him. 
Im really starting to think that I just don't know how to talk to a toddler! 
Please give me tips n tricks on raising a respectful toddler and ways to discipline. 
And please don't be hateful or judgemental towards me.