So disappointed in myself

Been trying to conceive since January. Every time my cycle is a day late, I get over excited thinking this is finally my month. I'm 21, a little plump, but I eat healthy, exercise, don't smoke nor drink but fail to get pregnant. My SO mentioned he's possible sterile from chemotherapy and radiation. I dismissed the thought of that instantly. Not being able to bear the children for the man I love dearly is heartbreaking. Maybe it's true, maybe something wrong with me. Was I possibly damaged from a brutal rape that happened when I was 11? Every month it's the same routine, I just want my bfp. I hate to give up, the constant stab of disappointment in myself,the crying. I can't do it anymore