Emotional

I know people are probably going through the same thing, I also know people are probably a little stronger than I am because I cannot take it anymore. I just want my baby here, the hormones and the pain is really taking a toll on me. I love this baby, but I'm really regretting getting married and settling down with someone I knew was a bad match for me. Instead of comforting me when I'm upset I'm getting yelled at for crying and him bringing up things from my past that I just want to forget about. I've tried keeping calm...but I can't no matter what I do and it's just making me hate myself I don't know if having the baby will take all of the self hate away and the depression but I think it'll be easier when I have someone in my arms that I can just hold and love and see that things get better. Right now it feels like he's never going to come and I just want him here so bad :( I want to go back to being who I was before I was pregnant, the person that knew how to love and never said awful things and acted crazy. The mental toll is more than I can handle and I don't want to have to deal with it for the next 3 weeks. I'm losing myself and I jut don't know what to do :/ I had a fairly easy pregnancy til these past couple of weeks when this all just hit me...I want to bring it up to my doctor but honestly I'm embarrassed and don't think there's much he can do about it...and looking at pics and going to the nursery just isn't helping me anymore....