Billie's Homebirth

L
My 9lb baby girl was born naturally at home on June 3. Here is her birth story as I wrote to her: 
It was around 10-11pm when I knew for sure you were on your way. The contractions had been coming steady for hours in fact since about 4pm, right after Granny and I had finished a long walk around the mall. I told daddy I was pretty sure my body was working on helping you join us. So we watched some funny television shows to help distract me from the pain, which wasn't too strong at the time. Daddy smiled a lot and rubbed my feet and sat close to me. He was very calm and helped me feel very peaceful about the journey we were about to take together. Your brother and sister, and granny were all in bed. It was peaceful in our house and very still. I began to have some really strong waves of pain and decided to take a shower. The warm water on my belly felt great. I was mixed with excitement and calm. I never felt scared and was so happy that I would be meeting you soon. After the shower I dressed in the labor gown your aunty Aubrey had given me. It was so soft and comforting and helped me feel like I was really prepared for the task of labor. I used the birthing ball to rock and sway as I breathed through the increasingly strong contractions. I tried to envision my body loosening and opening up around you. Daddy told me many times how beautiful he thought I was and played music and stayed near me. He really helped me feel strong and confident. I tried to rest but found the bed uncomfortable. So, I called the midwife and let her know how things were progressing. Her voice was very reassuring and she sensed I would still labor well on my own, encouraging me to call as soon as I was ready for company. She was right. After that I laid down in the bed and began sleeping in between the contractions which were now strong enough that I felt the need to "ooooh" and "ahhhh" my way through all the while attempting to stay relaxed and open instead of Tense. Daddy stayed near and also rested next to me. Im not sure how much time had passed when I woke him up. The pain had gotten pretty intense and I began to shake and vomit. Again, daddy took care of me. He was so kind and loving and right there when I needed him.  I knew these signs meant we were getting even closer and I wasn't sure how quickly my body would work to get you out, so I called and asked Sarita to come to be with us. I continued to  sleep between intense waves of pain until she arrived. When she checked your heartbeat she smiled and reassuringly told me you were a trooper. I felt excited again. All was well and I was dilated  to around 6. I knew we had more work to do and felt a bit exhausted. But I trusted in Sarita and my own body and continued to labor while resting in between contractions. I began to moan louder and wondered if anyone in the house would wake up. Daddy worked hard to fill up the birthing pool. It took much longer than expected  and all I could think about was getting in the warm water to soothe my pain! I was amazed that despite the intensity of the contractions, I still continued to rest between. When a big one would hit, i would envision my uterus and cervix opening up around your head. I would also tell myself that it was temporary and I would feel normal in just a minute. Repeating in my head "you can do anything for one minute". Switching between moaning and breathing, and probably a few "oh shit"s I continued to labor the best way I knew how. Hannah and Sarita were here and checked on me as needed. I felt so safe knowing that they were right upstairs for anything I needed. I believe it was close to 5-6am when I finally got in the birthing pool. It was heaven! What a change. I felt as if I had gotten my second wind. I was renewed and ready to continue on with this labor thing! 
The tub was so relaxing, I really was able to rest now. I asked daddy to call aunty Aubrey and ask her to come because I knew we were getting close to meeting you. He did and I knew she would be in her way soon. Granny woke up and came and talked to me, comforting me and letting me know she was there if I needed anything. Soon Aubrey arrived. Granny and daddy began to get things together upstairs. Waking up your brother and sister to get ready for school, and making some food for birth team. I was in and out, I didn't want to talk to anyone during contractions but knowing someone was in the room was just perfect. At this point I was very hot and even thought about getting out of the tub. I asked for a fan and that felt super! Then Aubrey gave me some ice and that soothes me as well. Hannah, Aubrey, and Sarita sat quietly for a time in the room. I'm not sure for how long or who was there at all times, but I knew I had my ladies nearby.  That, and granny telling me she has everything with your brother and sister taken care of really eased my mind and let me focus on you. Sarita listened to you, and felt my belly again. Your heart rate sounded strong and I was fully dilated. She told me all I had to do was breathe from that point on and my water would probably break, then my body would behind pushing and I would just need to go with it. I was happy to know how close we were. The contractions had become very tough and I was doing everything I could to stay calm, relaxed, and not give in to the pain. I wanted to be able to push and knowing I was going to wait for my body to really do it was hard for me to hear. But that feeling didn't last long becauSe again I fell asleep. And then I think I had about 4 really, really painful contractions that were more spaces out but so much more intense than before. On the fourth one I felt you move down fast and a lot of pressure, along w what I think was my water breaking. I said "baby's coming!" and Hannah checked me. I had a moment of nervousness then she calmly said yes, your baby is coming and she would get Sarita. I was ready. Sarita came down and got prepared, I made sure someone for daddy who has been napping upstairs. I remember a strong contraction and not really pushing but more nudging you with my breath and a little nudge that popped your head out! What a relief! Then I felt your head and went right back to holding daddy's hands so so tightly. He stood right behind my head outside of the pool and watched you make your way into the world. I looked up and saw granny, aunty Aubrey, Sarita and Hannah. I felt surrounded in love and protected. I envisioned all of the birth energy from the women in the room entering me and telling me I could do it! It was surreal and such a strong energy. I was protected by all these faces surrounding me when I looked up. Another strong contraction and a little work to get your shoulders out. You then came out with a whoosh and Sarita caught you and brought you up to my chest. It was the most amazing thing I had ever experienced. Daddy said you looked just like two momma. I heard tears of joy. I felt so full of pride and love as I watched you calmly adjust to life on the outside. It was a few moments before I checked to see that you were in fact my baby GIRL! I watched your face in awe. I couldn't believe you were my baby girl. So perfect. So healthy. So quiet. I rubbed your body and talked softly to you. We stayed in the warm water for a bit together. Then with help we moved to the bed, dried off, got warm, and snuggled. You nursed easily and latched on right away. Daddy made lots of jokes and had all of the ladies laughing. I watched him look at you with watery eyes and knew he was thanking God for his beautiful baby girl. We soon agreed that the name we had in mind for you was perfectly fitting: Billie. Everyone who helped me help you enter this world gave so much love to us that day baby girl, and I want you to know always how special you are and how special it was to be able to bring you into this world. You are my beautiful baby darling forever and always. Thank you for choosing me to be your mommy.