My first and only pregnancy was great but giving birth was horrible. I was shocked and felt like I had been tortured. I hated anyone telling me they had had a "nice" birth, "beautiful" experience or anything positive whatsoever. I used to think they all lied, lied and lied. I still think most women just lie because saying their experience was good makes them feel like good mothers or better women or it is just cool in this society where you're expected to be perfect in everything.

Bullshit. It was a nightmare.

After that, I felt like I had suddenly aged 30 years. I was 65 and weak.

And I felt nothing for my daughter. Nothing. I was desensitised and then postpartum was horrible again with a demanding baby who left me no time to heal.

Still, I did everything to conceal this especially to her who had no guilt in this. I did heal, I feel physically well now, eventually (6y later) and I  love her madly.

Now ttc #2 and scared to death. Help.