Here's a lot of cliches but really think about them...The worst part is trying to figure out if you should give up or try harder...BUT...Remember: you teach people how to treat you...what you allow will continue. And:Life is too short and too precious. Spend it with people who encourage and uplift you...not people who drag you down...

Ending a long term relationship is never easy, even when it's the right decision!  At this point, he probably figures I would never leave, since I've put up with it so long.  And there's not much motivating him to change.  If he would at least agree to couples therapy, then maybe that would at least indicate he really wanted to change.  ​I think I'd be happier single, but I don't want to drag our daughter through a divorce.  And he threatens to take full custody if I ever leave!​My advice, don't get married until you can work things out, because marriage only complicates things, not makes it better.

I'm in the same boat, but only 5 years.   I new he could be harsh, call me names, and be somewhat controlling, but I thought that would change once we got married and I gave him a child.  It's much worse now.  He refuses couselling, and he says he'll try to change.  But nothing is working!  I'm not sure what I should do... But I'm leaning towards going our separate ways!  Life is short!  The only thing stopping me right now is our daughter!​If he's willing to hear you out and make a effort at changing his ways, try to work it out... But otherwise, matbe it's time to move on! 

B been

I'm in the same boat. My husband doesn't name call or purposefully hurt me but he is just so negative all the time! I'm a very positive person and he does drag me down a bit. Have you told him how it affects you?

don't let him make you feel bad! do what you think is right and even though you love him a lot, you don't deserve to be victim to his negativity.

Yeah we got together when we were 18. Im 28 now and nothing has changed. I ask him to stop with all the name calling but he has just widened his vocabulary to new more hatefu and hurtful names. He has been wanting to get married for the past couple years but i have been draggin my feet. I dont want to get married. I haven't come right out and told him that because i do t want to hurt his feelings. I know that sounds ridiculous but i have a heart and dont like hurting others...its just been really crappy lately and he keeps tellin me he's gonna change but its the same ol same ol every day...