I feel like I was never fully emotionally attached to being pregnant because I always had a feeling, from the day I found out, that it was going to end in a miscarriage.

I don't know if it's all the posts in the general pregnancy group of women who have recently gone through it, or the women who think they are going through it, or maybe I really did just have a sixth sense about it.

I almost feel like, because I prepared myself for it so early, that this is harder on my husband than it is on me.

If you don't feel comfortable reading about a miscarriage please stop now. This is something I need to explain.

Monday, after spending an hour in the bathroom, crying with my husband, three hours getting in and out of bed with the worst cramps of my life, and four hours of the worst sleep of my life, we went to the doctor and had everything verified. Once we got home I told my husband that I think I knew it was going to happen for awhile, and he told me he figured something was up, after our first appointment I "changed."

See, I know the day we conceived, it was the only time after ovulation that we had sex, so I knew exactly how far along I was. When we went to or first appointment I should have been 8 weeks and 1 day, the baby measured 7 weeks 3 days. Exactly a week later I had some brown spotting, first pregnancy so I got scared and went in to the doctor, baby measured 8 weeks exactly. Only four days of growth in seven days. But the heartbeat was strong. No one seemed worried about the growth rate but me.

A week and three days pass and I start having brown spotting, but only when I wipe. I figure, I just went to the doctor for this, I have my ten week appointment in a few days, I'll be fine. Brown spotting until Sunday, then it turned red. I cried, I yelled at my husband for trying to be positive about it, I slept for three hours in the fetal position fighting cramps in the middle of the afternoon.

Ate dinner, went back to bed. Up every 20 mins with more blood, not passing anything. Woke my husband up around 11:30 because my cramps were so bad I was crying and clinging to him. Went to the bathroom, felt a rush of liquid, when I wiped it was all mucus. There's the mucus plug and the water breaking. Back to bed. Half an hour later horrible cramps take me back to the bathroom. The second I sat on the toilet I felt it pass. I screamed for my husband. We cried. I had to check, had to make sure. There it was. It's little head, with eyes, it's little body, with only nubs for limbs.

I'm glad my husband didn't look. Two people don't need to see that. It's hard enough for me, I can't imagine how it would be for him. He has always been the emotional one. I probably won't cry again about this. Partially because I really feel that I was prepared for it to happen, partially for my husband.

Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely hurting, I just feel like it could have been much worse. I see other women on here and I know it could have been much worse.

If you've made it this far, thank you for reading my story.