So I'm almost 10 weeks pregnant. I have been in love with my boyfriend for 4 years, but since a little before I found out I'm pregnant I've had almost no interest in him. I've never been a very affectionate or cuddly person, but I had an extremely high sex drive that was even higher than most men I've dated. A week or two before I found out I was pregnant started the rapid decline of my sex drive. I couldn't really recall the last time we had sex before I found out, and we've only had sex twice since. I've had almost no desire for anything, but when I do get in the mood it's very intense and I feel like I need it. However, I occasionally have had the problem lately that we could be in the middle of things and for no reason I'm not interested at all anymore. Neither of us did anything that felt wrong or bad to me, I wasn't thinking of anything else but the desire is gone and I can't continue.

On top of this I have been emotionally distant. I feel either nothing towards him or don't want to be with him. I am grossed out by his smell, his presence in the bed when I'm trying to sleep, his hair. Very rarely do I feel love for him anymore or happy to be with him. To be clear he has been treating me very well for the most part. We have had some issues, but most of the time he's very supportive and caring. He's been ecstatic about the pregnancy since we saw the test even though it wasn't planned and has been somewhat helpful about my fears and concerns through this.

I've found myself being a lot more paranoid and insecure than I was in the past few months before the pregnancy. I've had issues with these before, and we did have a lot of problems and broken trust in the beginning. I was sure that since we had gotten back together he hadn't cheated on me or kept anything major from me I hadn't already figured out. I felt more confident that I was the only one he wanted.

Now I'm having a horribly time believing this or trusting him, though nothing at all has happened to make me worry again. I've started worrying multiple times daily about a girl from our past, though she is completely out of the picture and for a while I did truly believe she was out of his mind too. Im often questioning him and thinking he's out places besides where he says even though i have plenty of proof saying he's where he says he is and not cheating on me. I don't know where these concerns and insecurities are being brought up from, but I'm driving myself and my SO crazy with them.

Is it normal to feel these ways? Is it pregnancy hormones or something deeper? How do I reassure myself he's not doing anything wrong? How do I quit hating his smell? How do I make myself have feelings for him again and be more affectionate? Sorry this was really long I haven't really had the chance to voice any of it yet.