Sexism with males.

Michelle • Active Duty Marine and future mom due August 6!
We talk about females getting the brunt end of the stick, but what about males?
I am married to a stay at home dad. He is domestic, takes care of the house and bills, and is always catering to my work schedule (I'm military and he left everything to follow me). I constantly have men and women alike ask me why he doesn't work. They even call him lazy. And he's the hardest worker I know! Is that a weird reverse sexism thing? Because he's male he has to work...
Or my favorite. My husband was also molested by female teachers when he was a boy. It really messed with his head because when he told his mom (finally), she told him that men don't get molested or raped and he must've asked for it. Because he's male!! I've known men that were raped, and no one takes them seriously, so they develop mental issues because they continually blame themselves, because of the zero support.
I dunno, we point out females' discrimination, when we're all suffering. :( makes me sad.
601 views • 11 upvotes • 36 comments

COMMENT (36)

De

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That is sad, but that's awesome that you have such a supportive husband.To me, this is why feminism is still needed -- to break society out of the gender stereotypes for men, too. I'm also working a ton right now, and my husband is picking up most of the domestic duties. It's annoying when I hear thing's like, "he's being the mommy right now" from others. No, he's being a supportive father and husband. He's not emasculated by fixing dinner more than I do right now and taking our kid to swimming classes and playdates where he's the only father. He's quite proud of his fathering and so am I.Also, the idea that can't be sexually abused is really disturbing, especially at a young age. You're right that oppressive gender stereotypes work both ways and that both are serious.

Mi

Michelle • Jul 13, 2015
That's how we feel--equal. We don't care about our genders or roles that come with it. I hope people can adopt that mindset.

De

Deema • Jul 12, 2015
Yep, totally. I also love (sarcasm) that an in-law of mine asked if I worry about him being around so many "desperate housewives" at these playdates. 😕

..

.. • Jul 12, 2015
Oh man this totally resonates. My husband was laid off at one point and took over all domestic duties. One of our friends kept calling him house wife, it was obnoxious. We've always considered ourselves equal so it didn't seem at all odd that he would do those things while he was home and not workin

🐠

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Men get boxed in, hurt, and pigeonholed by the same patriarchy that hurts us all. Hypermasculinity is a very toxic thing and it directly contributes to the notion that stay at home dad's or 'househusbands' are somehow lesser men because they have taken over 'womanly' duties. It also directly encourages the idea that sexual assault can't happen to men because 'men always want sex' and other toxic ideas.

Ic

Ichigo • Jul 12, 2015
This is very true.

Ka

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The patriarchy is damaging to everyone. We live in a society where being feminine is the biggest insult you can give a guy.  And the societal norm that men are just sex crazed animals that can't be victims of assault because they want sex with every woman all the time is ridiculous. This is exactly why feminism is still very much needed. Equality is important and socially there is still so much work to be done. 

Wa

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This is a perfect example of how gender roles is oppressive to both men and women. You and Your husband had made a legitimate choice but because he's a man its somehow deemed unacceptable. This is what Emma Watson is talking about with he for she.We need to break down gender roles, racial stereotypes and oppression of all people so that we can be free to make choices

Au

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Sort of breaks your heart doesnt it? The stereotypes assigned to us that we don't "follow".. I think its wonderful what you're both doing, as long as you're happy. I think the fact that for the majority of society, only women can get molested/raped. Because guys should be strong enough to fight something like that off, but with out hurting the woman of course, right? Wrong. Guys are exposed to just as much as girls. There's discrimination in everything, and the fact that feminists are (the majority) mostly making things about their gender role problems, me me me me.. When, equality should mean taking others situations into account and not playing victim. Guys have a hard time in life too. So do girls. Everyone has hard times. Maybe its not such a big deal to some people, maybe it is. I just don't think its right to put down another gender/person because you feel oppressed. But anyways, kudos to you and your husband!

La

Lauren • Oct 13, 2016
I completely agree with you!!

Ce

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Both sexes experience sexism every day. Of course, don't ask social media about it. "Misogyny" gets tossed left and right, but have you ever asked someone what "misandry" means? I bet half the population doesn't.You know who's 3x more likely to not report being raped? Men. It's estimated every 1 in 6 boys are molested, yet unless the rapist is famous somehow we don't hear about it. Why would we? Women have this notion of being "damaged goods" because we are objectified, but men are trained to show no emotion period. So when it happens, it is even less likely to be reported because they feel like they aren't men anymore, so what are they? What do they have left within themselves? Of course this is among other things they go though. Sexism is just another way to dehumanize people. Because what you're packing apparently matters? Please. The only thing that matters is your attitude.

La

Lauren • Oct 13, 2016
Agreed. Though there problem is sexism has already been introduced to the society. Once an idea is in society, it'll never go away.

Ic

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I agree. I don't like sexism either way. I've had a particular issue with men being discriminated by. I feel like, they don't really have anyone to advocate for them, because then feminists will bare their fangs and scream patriarchy and rip out their hair and such lol. But I get what your saying.

La

Lauren • Oct 13, 2016
That's so true.

J.

J. • Oct 10, 2016
But under a patriarchy men at more valued than women so anything that they do would be inherently better

Ni

Ni • Oct 10, 2016
Do you even know what patriarchy is? Although men benefit from it it can still be harmful because it forces them into a box.

Je

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Patriarchy hurts everyone. These are great examples of how stereotypical expectations can negatively affect men and women.

Fe

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I agree wholeheartedly with this and I'm sad to hear about how your husband is treated as my husband is currently the domestic one in our relationship and next year after my maternity he will become the stay at home parent as it makes financial sense for us, people have already laughed thinking we are joking before  asking my husband in a jesting manner if he had just had enough of going out to work? It's mad to think that we still have people in society who are closed minded 

As

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I agree with you 100%. But I'd be so heartbroken to go on my SOs phone and see that he just told the world I was raped. Unless I openly talked about it anyways. Especially with a picture of us to go along with it. I'm not trying to criticize you, but please consider these things. I'm sure you didn't mean anything by it at all.