Hurting in my Heart.

I suppose this is the best place to do this. Hi, I am a young lady who feels lonely. Maybe you've all heard this before or felt this way. But I feel so lonely at times, and I can't for the life of me stop thinking about what it's like to have someone's (ie: a lover of sort) arms around me. I've been writer (fan fictions and online Role-Playing) for a few years now. One of my writing partners and I got to know each other better, and I hate myself for developing a crush on him. He's a married man in real life and our two characters just happen to mate online for writing. Okay, I know it's stupid because it's just a writing partner. But even when I'm out in public and see couple (I'm pansexual so I go every way), I feel lonely. It hurts me, makes me feel depressed, and though I'd rather focus on getting my degree and finishing school, I think of relationships. I'm afraid to get out there, and I think sometimes it's pointless, but then I feel lonely and I know I have to be strong and get out there, it's just hard. No one needs to reply to this, I just needed to get my feelings out there. I need to take my own advice and be strong and happy for myself, no matter how hard it is. The change won't happen overnight, but I need to slowly make the efforts to at least try to meet someone, I guess.