My SIL intentionally got pregnant after my miscarriage due to me, "being a disgrace, and disappointment," and, "she has to pick up my slack" ugh. Anyways she's pregnant with a boy. Is it wrong of me to want to be different from her? I feel like another boy so soon wouldn't be as special. Is that a normal feeling? Any advice for my SIL to make her get it isn't my fault? (I'm just now coming to terms with that as well, and it's hard at times, when she pulls that stuff I go into a bout of self pity and loathing blaming myself for loosing my baby. It's still hard.)