My DH and I have been married for 2 years, long-distance relationship. It's hard and we don't have that much in common anymore. We fought over meaningless things on the phone all the time. And he didn't even have a plan for us to end this long-distance situation. I suggested us to go to couple counseling but he thought it was stupid. I tried to talk to him when we were together but he always ended up slam the door at me or throw stuff. So I just had to hold all my disappointment and sadness.

Then I did something really horrible, I met this guy and we started out as friends but then things just went out of control. I even moved in with him. Then I got pregnant. The baby is the other man's, but I have to wait until the baby's born to get a paternity test to know for sure. 

When I found out I was pregnant, the other guy was willing to be with me and raise the baby together, but I cannot get a divorce until the baby's born so I asked him to wait. But three weeks ago he said that he didn't want to wait anymore and broke up with me. 

My husband knew that I'm pregnant and he thought the baby is his. I just don't know what to tell him. I wanted to wait until the paternity test and all these things are killing me. I know deep down inside that I don't love my husband anymore. And I know that I cannot be with the other guy. 

I still have this stupid hope that the other guy might come back to me after the baby's born. Even though we broke up I cannot get over him because I still feel like there is a connection between us. 

But it's just so unfair to my husband, despite everything He still deserves to know the truth, but I just don't know how to tell him. I wanted to tell him in person but I'm really afraid that he might get angry and hurt me or the baby. So I decided to tell after I'm sure the baby's not his. 

I know that no matter what I'll still love my baby and give him as much as I can, but for now I'm really lost what should I do. I want to leave all these things behind for now and focus on the baby, but they just come back and haunt me in my dreams every night. I love my baby boy and I want to stay positive and happy during pregnancy, I just don't know how.

Advice help or suggestions please. I want to be a loving mother for my baby even though I suck at making relationship decisions.