Commitment issues or untrue feelings?

Question

My SO and I have been official for over 7 months now. I love him more than anyone I ever have before, however, recently I've been looking for reasons to not keep seeing him. We just went on vacation and he told me he hopes he can keep me forever,  but in the same week he said he'd never marry someone before 7-8 years of knowing them. That bugged me deeply because I want it sooner than that. I know I'm scared because I'm in so deep and will be ruined for a good while if we break up, but I feel if I were really in love I shouldn't be wanting out. Do I not love him as much as I think I do, or is it normal to have these feelings when getting serious?

Answer

I think it's because you could see yourself being engaged to him in a years time and he just made it clear that's not his plans. on your side of the relationship you are ready to dive in completely your ready for a deeper commitment. He is crazy about you and loves you too but he isn't ready for the same commitment that you are. He is loyal to you and is only seeing you but he just isn't were you are yet. There is nothing wrong with this it's like this in every relationship. Someone is always more committed in the relationship than the other whether it be the man or the woman. If your not willing to wait that long you need to sit down and talk to him. Just tell him I'm not looking for a marriage proposal right now but I need to know that if we stay together I can look forward to that within a year or two. Their is nothing wrong with telling him that the thought of waiting that long bothers you. If he is dead set in that being his waiting time to be ready to marry someone you really need to think about what you want. If you know you can't wait that long you will end up resenting him for making you wait so long. Trust me I know been there got the t-shirt.

Answer

Did your feelings of wanting out happen before or after he said the 'after 7-8yr' comment. If someone wanted to wait that long, I'd be gone. I've been in long term relationships knowing I wouldn't marry them. With my husband, we both knew in the first 6 months or so.

Answer

Whether its commitment issues or untrue feelings, I would be gone. Speaking from someone who has had commitment issues myself, I was ready to commit when I found the one. Ur ready, he's not. It's probably not gonna work at least for now anyways. Of course, my current bf & I broke up & years later we find ourselves together again & this time I am really trying. I know I'm sounding harsh, but 7-8 yrs is too long to wait for something that isn't a guarantee.

Answer

Take the time to get to know each other because marriage is no joke .I think sometimes people are in love with the idea of being married instead of taking the time to really get to know each other.I am not saying that's the case I'm just speaking in general.I would say to him that I respect your decision,and I'm looking for someone who has the same goals with the intention of being married in a couple years.This way your not coming off too demanding.What your saying to him that you know your worth and when you know your worth you won't settle for anything  less.

Answer

It really could be either one, or both. Sorry that's not much help. Just try to think it out more and it will come to you 🍀

Commitment issues or untrue feelings?

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