Name Change

Catrina • 25. Married to my other half. 5-15-15. 1 angel baby named River. Daughter named Remington. Son named Journey.
We just found out we are having a boy and we are so excited to name him River. 
Well I have a friend who I kinda lost contact with over the years but we recently reconnected. She told me that she had a miscarriage before she had her current son. I never knew the baby's name or the whole story or what happened. A few weeks ago she posted something on Facebook saying his name was River and she will always miss him. Well I texted her and told we if we have a son we plan on naming him River and would that be okay because I didn't want to hurt her. She said if you love the name of course. I would never tell someone not to name their child something. So I said okay. 
Well today after my gender reveal I got a message from her best friend saying while it was sweet of me to reach out she was crushed when she found out it was a boy and the name we chose and explained why it was hard for her and if I see her pulling back from our friendship than that is why. I of course was shocked. Now I doubt I will have my friend and our kids can play together. I will never take away from the experience of her losing her child. I can't imagine.  
But I was respectful and I asked. 
Should I change his name? 
380 views • 0 upvotes • 9 comments

COMMENT (9)

Co

Posted at
I don't think so. You came up with the name before you knew the situation and I don't really think a name should cause your friendship to end. Yeah it's hard for anyone to lose a child, but she can't expect to never hear that name again. Maybe I don't understand what the situation was like for her, but if it were me I would be honored. It's like her son gets to live on through yours somehow. 

Ca

Catrina • Sep 14, 2015
But my heart breaks for here because I can't imagine what she must be going through. I honestly just didn't know

Ca

Catrina • Sep 14, 2015
I agree. A part of me is saying my son isn't going to be the only River

Br

Posted at
No don't change your decision. You and your SO chose it with care and it brings you all joy. Everyone heals at different rates she just needs more time and unfortunately she's unable to be happy for you right now. 

Ca

Catrina • Sep 14, 2015
That's what my husband said.... I didn't know and the name just fit right with our family. And who knows if he comes out and doesn't look like his name should be River than we could change it...

Am

Posted at
I wouldn't change it. You picked the name before you even knew what she had gone through. If you love the name keep it!

Ca

Catrina • Sep 14, 2015
My husband doesn't want to change it so I think we will keep it.i just feel bad because she's hurt by it

Mi

Posted at
It sounds to me that she was just explaining that whilst she is happy for you to use the name it may cause her some pain to see your little boy with the name River running around happily while she still grieves. Give her time. You are both being honest and respectful just allow space to heal. 

Ca

Catrina • Sep 14, 2015
I think I will. I understand why it will be hard and that is the entire reason I reached out to her.