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My heart is breaking

RR • Tue, Sep 15 • Together since 2009 | Married since 2014 | 3 M/C`s | MTHFR | Rainbow baby born 07/02/17💗 #2 Due 12/21/20!!

I was so sure this was going to be the month. I was so sure that I was going to see a BFP. I was so sure that I was feeling all of the symptoms. And today AF showed up. And my heart just hurts. I wanted it to be the month for our BFP so bad that I even went out and bought some baby clothes. I want this so bad. Just as I'm sure you all do. It's so hard not getting your BFP when it's all you can think about. I had a chemical in May and we have been trying for 10 months. It seems like it's never going to happen.

I'm starting worry that something may be wrong with me or possibly my husband. We know he has low motility but the dr said it isn't bad enough for it to cause problems. Now I'm wondering if we should have gotten a second opinion months ago.

This freaking sucks so bad! I feel so sad and so helpless. I don't want to cry because I know we have it good. We have each other and our health. I feel guilty complaining, I just can't help myself I guess.

I'm sorry I just needed to vent I guess.

;(

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