Pick me up

Sorry ladies, 
I'm really struggling at the moment. I'm exclusively breastfeeding one twin (I've come to hate that term) and pumping for the other as she won't/can't latch. It's so hard. 
Sometimes I supplement with formula because it is just so hard. It's so much work to pump especially when I need to feed the other baby. 
Especially when she wants to comfort nurse or cluster feed. 
Especially when I'm exhausted and just want to sleep. 
Especially when I guiltily do sleep and then feel I have ruined my supply. Especially when I spill any/a lot of breastmilk. 
Especially when I feel so guilty for all these things.
 
I used to be so judge mental about these things. They were on my "never would I" list before I became a mom. Now I am I filled with regret and how could I ever think such things having no idea how hard it is and all the different circumstances that can arise. I hate the term exclusively breastfeeding because we don't fall into that category, or any category as its a mess and we are all over the place. Just looking for encouragement and support. 💞