Fear of losing

I had a chemical last month and have been testing since 5 dpo cuz I just felt funny. Anyway that digital is from last night 11dpo and I am getting crazy testing every twelve hours crazy because I'm so scared I'm gonna dip it and the line doesn't show up!!! My chemical it got half way darker then light negative digital then af!! I could really use some reassuring comments that I'm crazy cuz I wanna stop but I feel like crying at the same time!!  These should cause me great joy not staying awake at night worry!!