Anyone else having a really hard time with having to gain weight?

I was anorexic in high school and feel this mentally never really leaves. Sure you can get better but it's a fight every day. I had a normal BMI (19) when I got pregnant and am feeling so much stress at the weight gain!  I'm currently 15 weeks and have gained 5 lbs but it's so hard for me to be ok with gaining weight. I'm not dieting or anything just trying to eat healthily so my baby is healthy. Anyone else feel this way? Please no negative comments or judging.