Ttc after miscarriage

I lost my 1st pregnancy, a son at 16 1/2 weeks, in may.every month since then I've felt pregnant but no fail af arrives. Dh and I have been trying for 5yrs, we were so happy then my cervix opened and put me in early labor. Worst part is I got 2 new neighbors and within the last month both of them have given birth to there second child. I'm happy for them because I would never want anyone going thru what I did but it's such an emotional roller-coaster each month. Needless to say im feeling like a failure.