Do you aspire to your parents' relationship?

Question

I remember visiting a friend's house a lot when I was 13-16 and I loved her family because everything was just so happy together. Sure, her parents argued like anyone else but they were such a close knit family and got through some really tough stuff together. Until I met them I'd never understood people who said they wanted their future relationship to be like their parents'.

As an adult I'm now realising my dad was emotionally abusive in some ways which explains a lot but I find it kind of sad that although I know my parents do love each other - it f***ed up my siblings and I and their relationship is the opposite of what I look for. My mum makes jokes about me finding a guy who's the polar opposite of my dad but she doesn't know how serious I am about it.

I'm just wondering how common good relationships actually are? That friend I mentioned is the only time I've met people who had a really good relationship, not perfect obviously, but something to aspire to. My parents don't have a good relationship and I always wished they'd divorce when I was a kid, my best friends had parents who either divorced badly or stayed together when divorce would have been better. I just don't want it to doom my future relationships...

How were your parents' relationship? Do you aspire to have a similar relationship? Do you already have one? Or do you see their relationship as an example of how not to do it?

Answer

When my parents were together it was terrible....now that they are apart they are best friends. He comes over every other weekend to visit all of us and have dinner. They get along now an actually hold conversation. It's weird. You would never think they were married.

Answer

I remember when I was younger I heard my parents argue one time and I cried when my mom came in she asked what was wrong and asked if they were going to get a divorce she laughed and said no. That was the only time I have seen them argue. But my dad travels so he is gone most of the time and I think that bonded my parent's relationship. 
I would say that I have a relationship similar to theirs. My boyfriend and I don't argue we talk everything out we are both calm people.

Answer

My mom died when I was eight, but I knew how deeply my parents loved each other. Watching the way my father cared for my mother (and my three brothers and I) during her five year battle with cancer is an inspiration to me. His dedication and sacrifice, and the way she loved him and fought to live for her family have taught me so much about what true love in a marital relationship means. I want to have that kind of love in my marriage :).

Answer

My cousins relationship has really opened my eyes to what a good relationship looks like. Both of my parents have been married multiple times and were never good role models in this area. My cousin has been with the same man since she was 14 and they're now 33, married and have a kid. And they're also really happy. She says it wasn't easy at first but after they made it through the rough years it's been amazing. Communication is what she says makes it so great.

Answer

My parents never argued infront of us. They always went to their bedroom, spoke low German (before my sister caught on), or waited until we were in bed.

My dad never ever yelled at us, unless we weren't in ear shot and couldn't get our attention any other way, and that was usually when we were dealing with the cattle.

We weren't hit when we were bad, we were spanked, sent to our room, or sat facing a corner. If we bickered and faught with each other, we were forced to give each other a kiss and hug and say sorry.

Me and my hubby have been together for four years, married for three. I think our marriage is similar to my parents, we don't yell, it takes me a bit to tell him what's bugging me, but we talk it out. I've only seen him mad (seeing red) once, when his truck was broken into and vandalized. He did yell or freak out, he was very calm and quiet, just the way he walked I could tell he was pissed. To sum it up, I've found a guy like my daddy.

Answer

my relationship with my husband is not perfect we do fight but no matter how big of a fight we have we never end up not taking to each other and sleeping seperately. we always kiss goodnight at night and goodbye in the morning. and even if we are mad at each other we don't show it around other people. we might not express our love infront of everyone but our house is always inviting full of love and kidnees.

Answer

My dad never spent any time with us. He would come home from work, grab his big stupid cup and go downstairs into his mancave and not come up until bed time. My mom would cook dinner and i would take his plate dowb to him and more juice and then my mom and i would eat at the table. And then if he wanted something else he woukd yell for it. Sometimes he would try to keep me dowbstairs to watch tv with him but he watched alot of football and i wasnt interested. 
Anyways him and my mom never did anythin together. My mom did everything with me or by herself. And then eventually e cheated on her and they got divorced. So needless to say i dog want my relationship to be like that at all, and i dont think its heading in that direction, i would hope not atleast.

Do you aspire to your parents' relationship?

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