Anyone Else Feel Angry?

Question

Does anyone else feel angry about having a miscarriage? For me, we tried for a year and were so happy to get a positive result, but a week later I miscarried. I was incredibly sad and am still really depressed about it, but I also feel angry. I want to know why God would let this happen. I think a lot of negative things in life can have a silver lining but I honestly cannot think of why this would happen or see anything good that will come of it. What purpose did this serve? I feel angry like I was cheated or that a cruel joke was played on me. My husband and I want to try again but I'm just worried it will take another year. Can anyone else relate to this? I just don't understand how so many women decide to have a baby and it just happens for them right away or there are those who didn't even try and get pregnant anyway. How is that right? That those women get pregnant immediately but us who want a baby have to struggle for over a year and then suffer through a miscarriage? Sorry I know I sound bitter but this whole thing has really effected me.

Answer

Something that helped me get through anger/jealousy was a day I realized that while I may look at a woman and say "why can't I have a baby like she has," she may look at me and say "why can't I have a wonderful marriage, family, friend-circle (enter something awesome about your life here) like she does."

Answer

How do you know it was so easy for them? Maybe they've been trying for a while or even suffered a MC and you didn't know? No one but my mom, sister and husband will know this is my third pregancy. 
Also I think once you let go of that anger it becomes a more peaceful environment for you to be able to conceive and carry. 
And if the MC is early on its natures way of saying "nope" this wasn't going to be good for you or the baby. Truthfully, would you like to have a child at ANY cost, even if it means years and years of medical costs and appointments and goodness knows what else because something happened developmentally to your child while they were developing? 
Personally I was angry  and sad when I miscarried but see it as God/fate/natures way of saying: it wasn't meant to be. 
Just relax and take on the mantra: when it's meant to happen it will happen. And it will. Don't forget, adoption is also an option :) 
I was adopted myself and can't imagine what my life would have been like if my parents hadn't hand picked me themselves. 😊

Answer

Thought this hit the nail on the head.

Answer

All of your statements are proof that God has nothing to do with it.  It's our bodies, GENETICS, things we have no control of. I believe in God and pray often but I've never blamed God for my losses.  7yrs of infertility a chemical pregnancy then 15 months later a MC just shy of 6 weeks.  Yes it is unfair.  Morn and be sad it's ok. You just have to keep trying.  Instead of being angry focus on being healthy and happy.

Answer

So sorry for you loss. :( I understand the anger. I was pregnant twice and each ended up an ectopic. They couldn't save my Fallopian tubes and now we have no choice but to do IVF. Through all that I've been through I start out being really sad and angry about the situation but realized I need to be grateful for what I do have. I have my husband the love of my life still...and I still have a chance to have children with him even though without technology it'd be impossible. So be grateful that you still have your Fallopian tubes. Be grateful that there is technology these days that despite most fertility issues can help you to have a baby and last but not least be grateful that you are still living life and that you still have the man you love by your side to try reproducing with. I hope this doesn't happen to you again and it does seem like a cruel joke so did mine, but you need to keep moving forward, keep pushing towards your goal of having a child only look forward and never give up.

Answer

I'm feeling the same way. I suffered my second MC this week. I'm sad, I'm depressed, but most of all I'm pissed off. I'm a nurse so I see such shitty parents/druggies/abusers that are given the miracle of a healthy baby. That's what upsets me the most. I have a 4 year old and I'm a great mom. I'm married, have a job, pay my bills, and would give anything to have my baby in my arms. It just doesn't seem fair. They say everything happens for a reason but right now I'm not feeling like that. I don't know why bad things happen to good people. I think we have the right to be angry. I hope we can soon heal from this horrible experience.

Answer

I feel angry sometimes- it's really normal in this crummy process. But I see it more as a numbers/ chance/ short end of the stick thing versus a punishing God thing. I don't believe that God wants us to suffer or that there is any redemption in our suffering. It is just how life goes. Shit happens. I'm with you in this challenging journey. ❤️

Answer

I get pretty angry at time or just don't want to deal with the bullshit. We been trying for awhile. We also under go fertility treatments. Right now, I feel lucky with that. We were able to get pregnant via clomid/follistim in two cycles and timing our intercourse. I was happy and crying when we found out that we conceived. Now, I feel the next time that will be taken away. Then pregnant people everywhere. Some days it is just so hard and lonely. I found my silver lining. First, I got pregnant in two cycles and just need help to ovulate. Two, my husband is amazing. All this brought us to a level that I did not know existed. We had a great marriage but I fell in love with him all over again. He has been my rock. I think the strengthening of our marriage is what made this lose a bit more bearable for me. I hope you find the comfort during this sad time. It does suck. My heart goes out to all who has lost their little.

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I think anger is apart of the stages of grieving. I'm currently in that stage.... It's been two weeks I lost my daughter at 21wks.  I can accept that God took my daughter. I'm just angry about it... I don't think that the anger and hurt will ever go away. I just want Peace in my mind and in my heart.

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Thanks everyone for the responses. As sad as it is, it's good to know that others can relate. We are trying again. I'll be praying that it doesn't take another year to conceive.

Anyone Else Feel Angry?

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