Rape and the aftermath

I lost my virginity to rape 6 years ago, and was raped again by the same ex when I tried to break up with him to be with my now husband. Sometimes when my husband and I have sex I blink and it isn't him anymore, it's my ex on top of me and I freak out. I can't make love or I feel really uncomfortable, and can only have really rough sex where I am dominated, but since I had my son 2 years ago just nothing feels good anymore and I could go without sex forever. DH and I still have sex at least 2xs a week because I don't want to deprive him.

Kinda got sidetracked here but my question for the ladies here that have had something like this happen to them, how did you deal with it and how long did it take you to "get over" it?