I am at my lowest...

Looking at our family from outside in.. and knew it all you'd say my life is amazing not perfect but awesome..

We have a beautiful baby girl she's 5..

I'm pregnant with a boy I'm 18 weeks Saturday.

My husband works at Pepsi is making dam good money..

I am a physical therapist.

Love at first sight with him.. he's amazing!

At month 3 I passed out 12xs in one month..

And still doing so and did it behind the wheel drs and myself are agreed pulling my license till birth..

I'm now on bed rest also past 5 weeks or so..

My Bp is averaging 178/99 and a few times 170/101 they want me to reach 20 weeks before they give me meds for the high Bp to be cautious of my son.

Because of this... I can't work do a darn thing...

My husband does not all work helps me out cleans takes our kid to school.

Still smiles rubs my belly tells our son I love u Jr... and he loves me..

I'm dead inside I've said this before I'm at my Max point I wanna cry a lot more I wanna run away just leave and not return..

I was suicidal at a point..

All because I can't do crap I can't go out I can't work... see friends play with my kid help her outside..

I want it back I want my life back.

I hate this feeling I'd never hurt myself my family needs me and when I think of my buggy (daughter) I couldn't take me a way from her.

Please don't judge me or be mean I've spoke to both health Dr and my Gyn.

I'm watched over every 2weeks and see someone about my problems..

I still feel awful I see my husband tired and he just smiles and says it all okay I love u I will do w.e to help u keep Jr in there..

He's too good for me.. I swear it's just like how can you be this OK this sucks..

Sorry if it's long I'm unable to sleep or do anything.. I get 3-5hrs of sleep if that... he gets maybe 4..

I know one thing....

Saturday we're sleeping in and cuddling.. we need it. Thanks for reading. 😀😊