In search for Christ

So...I don't really know how to start this out but....my life is pretty difficult right now and I don't know what to do, I feel so far from Christ than I used to be....I've always believed in God and Christ it seems like up until this point....here lately it's gotten so bad I'm trying to force myself not to believe in Him anymore but my heart is telling me don't....I don't want to believe anymore but I feel like I always will. I just don't know what to do ladies...could I get some advice? I feel like....how could someone love you so much but let all this bad stuff happen to you or the world....I feel as if He doesn't want to cut me a break....why is he doing this to me....