Not sure how to feel?!...

Hi everyone. I'm 32 and my bf 38. We always thought we didn't want children, I didn't really think about it as I had a happy life that I loved. Then my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer, she died 7 mnths later. I lost my mum 15mnths ago at the age of 53 to pancreatic cancer. It turned my world upside down and made me really consider what life is all about. So since then I have been so confused, knowing my bf didn't really want children, and all of a sudden that's all I could think about, having a family after loosing my mum. The last few weeks it has come to a head, and we have talked a lot about our lives together. He says he doesn't want to be with anyone else and loves me, and will get his head around having a baby. Thing is, I feel like im making him and that he won't be happy. It's very strange when you make this decision, but the other half is unsure about it, even though he says he would fine. He still says that it's not what he really wanted. I know he's doing it for me. I just don't want him to end up unhappy, we love each other very much and have experienced the worse time over the last 2 years. We have recently bought a 4 bed house, we have good jobs, stable income and supportive families. It just feels right to me. I wish it felt more right to him too. Anyway we've decided to start trying, it's weird to be off the pill?! Wish us luck. Thanks for listening, and good luck to everyone 💕 xx